How I found the right teacher

This really goes back to when I first decided to learn guitar for real - after my spouse voiced the opinion that I should take lessons if I wanted to do 'it' properly.  I had this little video playing in my head from back when I was doing an externship overseas many years ago: we had so much fun hanging out with the guy with the guitar - the music was the magnet that pulled the students together. I wanted to be that person.   Fast forward a few decades to 3 years ago, and I had a guitar, and I wanted to learn.  For real.  So I looked online for a guitar teacher and found someone only a mile from where I live. Online reviews were positive and he actually said he took adult students. Great!  I carted my rather large steel string guitar to him and after suffering through the sore and bleeding fingers stage, applied myself to learning some tunes.  Though I didn't know much about guitars, I do know I don't have a great singing voice and I really love melodies, so I made it clear what I wanted.   To learn fingerstyle, fingerpicking, whatever it's called.   All started off well, he was a truly nice young guy who played in a local band, could definitely play melodies, and did his best.  The trouble was, his best was demonstrating how the melody sounded and asking me to do it.  If I was having trouble he told me to do it again.  I didn't get feedback on what I was doing wrong, how I should practice something, what I needed to do to fix things.  I consulted with my friends - what could be the issue?  I liked the guy but I didn't feel like he was teaching me anything I couldn't do on my own.  Perhaps he was nervous about actually telling me I was doing things wrong, they suggested.   "Just tell him it's OK to criticize".  So I did.  But nothing changed.   I had a lot of angst now - this wasn't what I wanted, I needed to move on, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.  Looking back I realize this was silly - it was a business relationship and he wasn't a good fit for me. Nevertheless I chickened out and told him I needed to take a break, and looked for another teacher.

Next time around I checked in with a mom and pop "music school" about half an hour away.  Yes they had guitar teachers who taught fingerstyle.  I wondered - did they have someone older, with more experience teaching as opposed to just playing in a band?  Yes they did, if I didn't mind long hair.  Strange question I thought, but let's face it, I don't care what his hair looks like (yes it was a guy) providing he can teach guitar.   At first everything went well.  My new guitar teacher did indeed have very long hair, but more importantly had been trained in classical guitar at one time.  He was older, friendly, and did a much better job at teaching me basics, though admittedly in a somewhat haphazard fashion.  I learned what Giuliani arpeggios were,  began to learn a simple Beatles arrangement and felt I was making progress.  Then things started to go wrong.  My new teacher started to turn up for lessons without a guitar - OK he could demo on mine.  He was late, sometimes very late.  OK - I waited,  and he always made up the time.  Sometimes he seemed a bit spaced out and the black fingernail polish was weird -  but maybe that was just me.  Then one time he didn't turn up at all.  I wasn't happy having made the hour long round trip and I was fed up with not knowing what to expect...  I made my feelings known. I continued to go but yet again started looking for a new teacher.

Once again my husband chimed in.  "you know there's a proper music school in town - why don't you take lessons there?"  Well I had the answer for that.  "They only teach classical guitar and I don't want to learn classical it's too serious."  He persisted saying that I could just "get the basics" then return to fingerstyle when I had a good grounding.  I wasn't convinced, but signed up for adult group guitar lessons for beginners, which were heavily discounted so I didn't feel I had much to lose.  I was a little worried because I only had a steel string guitar, but the only prerequisite was a guitar of some sort and a footstool.  The lesson turned out to be really great.  There were 5 of us, and we started with the basics, including reading music, how to make the guitar sound sweet and how not to hurt our hands and wrists. I learned more in the first 2 lessons than I had in the previous 6 months.  The teacher could play like an angel, had an engaging personality, and more importantly, knew how to teach.  I enquired about private lessons, but as there were no vacancies till the next semester I continued with my private teacher.  However within a couple of months he again failed to show for a lesson, so  I called it a day.  This time I told him why I was quitting - I needed someone who was reliable - and I registered for classical lessons with the music school teacher.  Which turned out to be the beginning of the end of my acoustic playing.  My steel string got replaced with a classical.  Initially I still had the intention of switching back to steel string when I had mastered "the basics" but it turns out I may study for years and still not acquire them.  No mind - I am totally in love with the sound of the classical guitar, and am happy working towards making that kind of  music.   And I'm more than satisfied with my teacher, 2+ years later - he seems to take the outsized expectations and undersized abilities of adult students in his stride and still get them to make progress.  I look forward to my lesson every week and do my best not to screw up too badly.

So what do I take from this?
- Taking music lessons is a business relationship.  You might be friends with your teacher, but the bottom line is you are buying a service and that service has to meet your needs. If it isn't working, it may even be helpful to tell your teacher why it hasn't worked out for you - assuming you have a good relationship that is.

Your teacher has to have professional ethics - be dressed appropriately, polite, reliable and encouraging not punitive.

- You have to be comfortable with your teacher.  Personally I think you have to like them - as an adult there's a social component to taking lessons and I certainly wouldn't want to take lessons with someone I didn't like or respect, although I could see taking a few lessons with someone I didn't like if they were teaching me something I really wanted to know.  However, I doubt it would be a long term relationship.

- You have to be taught what you want to learn.  It's OK if learning something is a means to an end ( a lot of classical guitar seems to be like that) but guitar playing encompasses a huge number of genres and you're not likely to want to stick with it if it isn't meeting your musical needs.

- The bottom line is, the teacher has to be able to teach.  Some of the most brilliant players suck at teaching, whereas there are outstanding teachers who may not be destined for greatness.  I would pick the good teacher any day.  After all, I'm not destined for greatness either :)