Focusing Power...

Recently a number of things came together for me as a result of my latest attempts to overcome performance anxiety... 

- I participated in a challenge to improve a single discrete skill.  This involved practicing that specific skill every day for a month and recording it weekly.
- I made myself 'perform' for others several times a week, including in person to my teacher and a friend, online by Skype/Zoom, in 2 guitar circles, and at an open mic.
- I got expert advice on performing from my teacher - most notably by practicing pieces unbelievably slowly to activate different types of memory.
- I read a number of articles on ways to address performance anxiety - the piece of advice that most resonated (particularly now I am getting some experience performing) was to change expectations.  I had always considered that the only acceptable performance was one where I played to the best of my ability - any mistake would set me on a downward spiral to disaster.   The article pointed out that this was unrealistic - particularly at the beginning.  The goal instead should be to recover from mistakes and keep playing!  The other thing it said was to develop a mistake recovery plan and practice it (deep and steady breathing was suggested).

Why am I listing these things?  because it reminded me of something my guitar teacher said when I grumbled to him about falling apart when trying to play for others.  (Honestly I don't need to tell him this - he experiences it on a regular basis in lessons!)  Getting back to the point, he asked me whether I had made addressing this deficit my specific focus.   And now I think I understand.  It's not something you work on occasionally.  It's something you address systematically and often over a period of time in multiple different ways,  continually analyzing and applying the results forward.  And this article talks about focusing on a process rather than a goal - interesting.

Have I conquered performance anxiety? Of course not.  However I am more often than not managing to play through mistakes and keep going.  (Hopefully this will eventually translate into better performances).